|
|
What is a Closing ?At the end of the Weekend the men are brought to the old chapel where they are given their Kairos cross. As it is presented they are told "Christ is counting on you" and they respond "And I am counting on Christ!" Once that is done they are led to chapel where they are joined by the residents who have been through Kairos before. They are also joined by people who support Kairos. Generally about a hundred or so folks attend. All are welcome, but you security requires that you fill out an application to attend three week prior to the event. The presence of "free world" community is generally the last "pleasant surprise of the Weekend. What follows are comments that where made by the resident when they were allow access to the mike to answer three questions: "What Spiritual condition was I in when I came to Kairos?" ; "What did I get from Kairos?" ; "What will I do with it?"
Hughes
#10 Closing
comments The following are comments from the Candidates on Sunday afternoon during their closing ceremony of Hughes, Kairos #10. I have typed everything, verbatim, as much as possible, without grammatical corrections. The keyboard doesn’t have the right keys to type some of their words. From The Table of St.
James: What Spiritual condition did you arrive: Pretty Bad Shape. What did you find: Love, Support, Christ and the Love of brothers, the love of God, in Men from all walks of life. The full meaning of agape of love. We all found Jesus Christ. What are you taking away with you: Hope renewal, love and faith. Faith, knowledge and the love of Jesus. The love of God and my new Kairos family. Desire to share God’s agape love with everyone I meet. A light that reflects what we’ve never seen before and we want everybody to know it, see it and experience it. From the family of St.
John: What Spiritual condition did you arrive: Distrust, confused, weak. Some of us didn’t even have a spirit. What did you find: A lot of caring people, love understanding, friendship. Found what we were looking for: Jesus. What are you taking away with you: More knowledge, hope faith, courage, compassion, strength, a strong will to serve God, Forgiveness, to share the love of our Lord with others. A wonderful new family of Kairos. From the family of St.
Luke: What Spiritual condition did you arrive: some of us were already Christians. But we all agreed that we were in a spirit of uncertainty. All agreed that we were running out of fumes and needed recharging. What did you find: A renewed relationship with
Christ. What are you taking away with you: Spiritual awakening, a strong focus and a desire to be the best fisherman we can be. Truly blessed. From the family of St.
Mark: What Spiritual condition did you arrive:
Spiritually dead. We were
totally dis-comboomerated. Satan had
us hood winked. What did you find: Unconditional love, understanding, true Christianity, God’s grace, and some good sole food. What are you taking away with you: Revolutionary honor of faith and a new family of friends. From the family of St.
Matthew: What Spiritual condition did you arrive: Very weak, totally confused, heathens. We were at peace but unsure of the future. What did you find: So much love. Unbelievable! It’s got me shaking. Spiritual cleansing. Real love. God. What are you taking away with you: Hope, and membership in a new family. And above all: Christ. From the family of St. Paul: What Spiritual condition did you arrive: Very lost. Disillusioned. Confused. Not sure even if there was a god. What did you find: More love than we ever thought existed. There truly is people that really care about us. What are you taking away with you: A new way of living. All of us can now walk with the Lord in our life. The Lord worked wonders in us. He’s brought change to all of us. You are his servants. Without ya’ll there is no help. From the family of St.
Peter: “The final score: Kairos 42, Satan 0”
What Spiritual condition did you arrive: Searching What did you find: Jesus (if we are truthful) What are you taking away with you: To us what is more important is what we are leaving. We are leaving behind the ashes that were burned last night. The things that were destroyed today. The yoke of bondage that our Lord and savior has destroyed. Through your prayers and through your love and kindness for strength in the brotherhood of Kairos we are going to do our best to never let Satan rebuild in us and destroy us. INDIVIDUALS: Candidate #1: What Spiritual condition did you arrive: Phony. I had joy and hope. What did you find: I found the Lord What are you taking away with you: I’m not taking anything that I brought in here Thursday night. It’s been burned, torn up and thrown away. I didn’t have a family. Now I do. God Bless, I love you all. Candidate #2: What Spiritual condition did you arrive: I knew the Lord, I always knew Him, but I scooted Him aside because in a place like this we have to put up these walls and be a Hard “tough” guy. My condition was questionable. What did you find: A love that I never ever really experienced. I am truly thankful to the Lord through this experience. What are you taking away with you: The Blessing that the Lord has blessed me with to spread throughout the Hughes Unit as best I can. Candidate #3: What Spiritual condition did you arrive: That’s a real tough question. I was one of the individuals that was very confused at that time. I was also very unforgiving. I came here with a heavy, heavy heart. I wanna thank the Lord for choosing me to be a part of Kairos. What did you find: Number of things. Unconditional love for one another. That’s one thing you really can’t fake. It’s true – it’s not fake. What are you taking away with you: Another tough question. I’m gonna try my best to take the Lord’s word and follow His path the best I can and to still work on His forgiveness. That’s what I need is His forgiveness. Candidate #4: What Spiritual condition did you arrive: I didn’t have one at all. My spiritual condition was bottomless. What did you find: Growing up I had a hard time with love. I found love, here. More than can be described. What are you taking away with you: When I came here my name was Mike. Mike was associated with a whole lot of things that he shouldn’t have been associated with. When I leave here, I’m Michael cause I found who I am in Jesus Christ. Candidate #5: What Spiritual condition did you arrive: Not knowing what to expect. To try and feel the movement of God. What did you find: The four days I’ve been here,
I’ve learned a lot about fathers and being a Christian.
Before I came I had a lot of bitterness and hatred, in my heart, for two
people. Those two people were my
father and God. My father abandoned
me when I needed him the most. That
was when my Mom died. I hated God
for taking her away from me. For
many years I stopped talking to God and my father.
That’s how much hatred I had for both them.
But now, somehow, someway that bitterness and hatred have left my heart.
I don’t know if it was those prayer requests, that I burned yesterday (during
the Forgiveness Ceremony the candidates and team are encouraged to write
anything or anybody they/we harbor hatred or resentment for or need forgiveness
for on a piece of paper and burn it) or what.
All I know now that a door has now opened up for me to accept Jesus as my
Lord and Savior. What are you taking away with you: I don’t what will happen but today was my first step toward living with my Lord and Savior as Jesus. So if I can change. You all can change. God Bless you! Candidate #6: What Spiritual condition did you arrive: It was a spirit. It was a fake. I really wasn’t in any condition. I was playing a Christian when it was convenient. What did you find: Outstanding love. Two special friends (sponsors). On the way here, I found a great friend (another inmate) that made me come. What are you taking away with you: Just what I wanted: A way to walk in Christianity on a pretty good path, with a lot of Love. Candidate #7: What Spiritual condition did you arrive: First of all, I didn’t want to come to Kairos. I signed up for Kairos three times and got turned down three times. This time, my cellie and two other friends put me in for Kairos. I appreciated it and I thanked them. I didn’t think I was gonna make it, but I thanked them. I came two weeks ago for the interview and as we were sitting in here. A few guys in the chapel told me to write my folks and ask them to not come to visit on this (the Kairos) weekend. And I’m saying they ain’t selected nobody yet, why do you think I should write my folks. But I just did what they said and as we were sitting in the interview, one of the guys got up and left. When I came in no one said anything to me, but the Deacon asked this young man what his name is. The next thing I know, is I look up and see this guy walking and I say: “man….. “ He just got up and walked out. Then when I looked at the list, that was selected, to attend, he (the guy that walked) was number one on the list. I say man this guy done walked out the place. But, as I say, I’m glad for him to stay here, even though we lost two brothers. We were all blessed by being here. I’m a spiritual person, a family man, a good man. When I came that first day they all called me the big crybaby, but I been hittin my stomach since I came and I’m still hittin it. I took a little something from here every night (glad the CO didn’t see) and took it back to the guys on the pod. I told them to take some and share the rest. I told them that no matter what it takes; a cookie, a pie, a banana, some fruit, no matter what it takes to get them here, they need to come and get God in their life. I love ya’ll and I will always remain a part of Kairos.
What did you find: What are you taking away with you: Candidate #8: This is the guy that walked out of the chapel during the Kairos interviews What Spiritual condition did you arrive: I guess since I’m here, I’ll say a little something. What happened that day he was talking about has become a legend around here. I’ll tell you my version of it. I’ve done 17 years in TDC continually. Did ten of it in Administrative Segregation (23 hours of cell and 1 hour of daylight per day). Sometimes you get to feeling like you’ve been abused for years. Emotionally, spiritually and you get to where you don’t trust people. I didn’t put in for Kairos. I had several good friends that put me in. They know who they are; they’re out there. I didn’t volunteer for it. Several times I had opportunity to volunteer for it and I never did; I didn’t want to come. And this time I didn’t want to come either but somebody said well we are going to put you in for it and I said well whatever and they gave me the invitation to come down for the interview, I came. But when I walked in, I said: wait a minute, something is wrong. They might actually get me in here. So I ran out the door as soon as I thought that there was danger that they might actually get hold of me. When Scott saw me walking, I was running down the haul right there. I was trying to get away. But they didn’t let that – they didn’t let me get away. They put me first on the list. Everybody that knows me knows that I have been a die-hard heathen. I still am. I still am. The spiritual condition I arrived in was: Well I was kind of spiritually beaten. Spiritually in tact, spiritually strong but spiritually beaten. I am little spiritually stronger now.
What did you find: I found something I didn’t expect to find. I told you I didn’t trust people. Well, I started feeling like I can trust people again. I found a lot of friends that care. People I didn’t know or didn’t know. I know ‘em now that care and uhh, felt a lot of love, friendship and fellowship. What are you taking away with you: I am taking everything, all that away with me. Candidate #9: What Spiritual condition did you arrive: I wasn’t gonna come. These was about my seventh time, I had put in a request. I wasn’t gonna do it. So my cellie woke me up about 11:30 one night and said man they are gonna have another Kairos; put your name in. And I told him; I’m not gonna put my name in no more. They are not gonna pick me; I’m going to bed! He kept on so I say alright, I get up, fill out an I60 (request form) and he took it to the mailbox. Later on, I found there was about seven more people had put my name in. I thought I was well liked on the pod. But it looked like they was probably trying to get me away for four or five days. Anyway: All thanks and honor due to God. When I came to Kairos, I was in fair condition.
What did you find: I’ve been around for a little while. I found an outpouring of love that I have never experienced in my life; in no service; no church; no club; no place I’ve ever been that I have felt like I did here this weekend. Nowhere have I been as happy as I’ve been here these past few days. What are you taking away with you: The same love that I found here and my new family. My new Kairos brothers. Candidate #10: What Spiritual condition did you arrive: (Someone was reading the questions for this man) I came in here ‘cause this guy keep on telling me everyday, twenty four, seven: You aught to go to Kairos, man. Man, I sign you up. You don’t know how to read and write. So I help you, man. I say what are you doing that for? But he keep on asking; Please go to the Kairos. “I ain’t never bean through this man.” “But you need to go……….” “You need to see the Lord, man.” “Say who is him?” “I ain’t never seen him before.” He say: “But you gonna see him there.” So I finally give in. Starting to get very chocked up, he continued: “I arrived here in the condition that I couldn’t find myself cause I let this little girl that I had, tell me one day: “Dad, let’s go to church?” Oh no, her Dad was a demon, he wasn’t gonna go to church. I came in, the first day here and all of a sudden, something happened to me. One them deals that happens to everybody that’s been in Kairos, I guess.
What did you find: Oh BOY! This is a good one too. I got so many friends now that I’m looking around this place right here. And that really amazing. In the free world, they say that you got friends. I don’t think so, I think the friends is right here, the men in white, the people from the free world that came down here to help us. That’s terrific! They are terrific! That’s all I can say. What are you taking away with you: Oh He’s a bug man and He’s going with me (speaking of Jesus). He’s bigger n I am. He IS bigger-n-I am! Thanks. Oh, Thank God for the people that helped us out through this Kairos. Thank You! Candidate #11: What Spiritual condition did you arrive: To be honest. I want you to know I’ve been incarcerated for a long time due to my wrong doings in the world. I been separated from my loved ones in Cuba. The majority of my family stay in Cuba. I been incarcerated since 1984, that’s a long time. All this time, before I find Christ, I have done everything that is possible to make it in a penitentiary. Sometime going against the principles of God. I’m trying my best to do right. Because that’s what it takes to get out of this institution and stay out. Now, first of all, I didn’t put in for Kairos. I got a dear friend that work in the kitchen with me his name is Mark. Stand up so everybody know you. That my brother in Christ. He told me, in the kitchen, Jesse: I want to send an I60 for you. I didn’t believe him. I don’t spect to get selected anyway…. But here I am! The word of God works. How did I arrive: I was real, real, real high. Not on dope. But for the Spirit of God! I been getting prepared for this.
What did you find: What I been missing for a long time. True brothers in Christ. True sisters in Christ. That there were people in the world that really, really care about me and everyone in here. What are you taking away with you: Oh! I taking the love of God! The love of God I can share with fellow believers out there in population. The word of God that finally when I get out of this penitentiary I can share with all the brothers out there in the world. I made a way for them to keep them in the positive way of life. To keep them away from drugs. To keep them from selling all kinds of drugs, alcohol, all the stuff that leads to extortion. But, most of all I wanna to be out and stay out so I can bring my family into the United States to be happy with me. Thank you. Candidate #12: Everybody is telling a little story so I’m gonna tell a little story and it’s true. I was telling people I was coming to Kairos weekend and I told my Boss. He said: “Why you gonna go to Kairos for?” He said: “I’ll just get the bakers over there in the bakery and they’ll bake up a bunch of cookies and uh and when you get here every morning”, cause he didn’t want me to miss work, he said: “I’ll just Bless you.” So, if everybody knows Mr. (Boss), then somebody needs to try and get him on one of these walks! What Spiritual condition did you arrive: I was in pretty poor condition. I mean I was raised in a family with… I was…. My Mother would take me and she – she would make sure I went to church everyday and I would go but never got anything out of it. But now I’m in pretty good spiritual condition.
What did you find:
I found a whole bunch of special friends.
I found Kairos. So, I got a
bunch of new brothers and sisters in Christ. What are you taking away with you: I’m taking away a heart with…. I’m gonna try to start loving again, cause it’s been real hard for me to love. I got people out there that love me, but I don’t get to see ‘em that often and it’s just hard, cause it – it’s just not the kind of love I been get’n here this weekend. So, I’m gonna try to start sharing the love that I found this weekend with everybody else and I’m gonna….. It’s gonna be hard. Right now, I’m on a mountaintop and when I leave, (voice starting to tremble) I’m gonna be back in the valleys. Back out ‘tair in the pods, it’s hard. It’s rough. If you Christian – you weak. That’s what they label you – you weak. But I think, if you Christian, you a big man. You big strong man. And, it takes a bigger man…. It takes a big man to walk with the lord. And, it’s not gonna be easy, it’s gonna be hard, I know. And when you see me slipping (addressing the brothers in white for previous weekends) don’t kick me. Pick me up! A Saint is just a sinner that fell and got back up. And I love everyone of ya’ll. Candidate #13: What Spiritual condition did you arrive: I’d like to say: before I came to Kairos, I think I was set up for this right here, you know what I mean? I want to thank two brothers Mario and Davis. Last year Mario gave me some hate cookies. (Actually called forgiveness cookies) I didn’t know anything about hate cookies and then last night, he asked me for the hate cookies back. And his cellie, Davis, I don’t know… I think if it weren’t for him, I wouldn’t be in Kairos right now, you know. The brother helped me sign up and got me in. I inquired. I asked some brothers: “What they do in Kairos, man, you know?” “Oh, You’ll see.” I had heard the food is good down there, man, you know. “Oh man, You’ll see.” I asked this brother right here, on this front row right here. He say man! Man, you know it’s gonna be the wettest four days of your life. I say, No. Man I ain’t cried in ten years. It’s cast iron up in here, (pointing to his head) you know what I mean? Man, we came Thursday. I don’t even think I was here and hour good, you know what I’m saying? I been crying ever since, man………….
What did you find: Man, I found all of ya’ll, man. Love man; family, you know? Friends. You know, I never had this, I thought I had every… I thought I had it all, you know what I mean? I was living a gangster’s lifestyle. I was a gang member in the world, you know? I belonged to a crypt gang and crypts are real big, you know? We’d do a lot of things. There’s a lot of fear in love, you know? We’d do a lot of hurting people and stuff, you know? And, like now, it’s so much love right here. (Voice starting to crack) I wish I could give some back. Man, there’s a lot of love in this place you know what I mean? What are you taking away with you:
Man, I’m taking a revolutionary armor on, you know?
They brought the torch in. I
think I’m gonna carry it out, you know? Keep
the flames burning, you know? Got
some ammunition to fight with, you know? I
just wanna say to all my Kairos brothers and family, this ain’t gonna be the
last time ya’ll see me, you know? It
don’t stop right here. (And I
spared you on a bunch of the “You Knows”, you know?)
(Grammar lessons come from another group) Candidate #14: What Spiritual condition did you arrive: You know this year is kind of significant for a lot of reasons, some good and some bad. And one of those reason is, you know, I just recently turned thirty-five years old. And, I have spent more time, of my life, incarcerated than I have free. Some people would say I’m fortunate, cause one day, probably soon; I’ll be getting out on parole. That depends on how you look at it. I don’t think I would have been fortunate and neither would have people that put me in here.
What did you find: What I was looking for, when I came to Kairos, I didn’t know until I was actually here. What I found was the question to an answer that I had been looking for half of my life. And, uh, what that question was, was I needed to know that there were people out there that loved me and wanted to see me get out just as bad as people who hated me and wanted to see me in here. What I found here was the answer to my question. I found friends and I found purpose. What are you taking away with you: You know my fellow brothers who recently got out (there were two ex-offenders on our team and they recorded a tape and sent in to the guys, to encourage them) and helped with the cooking gave me a lot of ideas. Oh, I hope I can follow in their footsteps. On a personal note. You know who you are. I thank you, every time I ride a rough road, I will remember you. Every time I read Romans, especially 12:2, I will think of you. (Voice cracking) And for the guy who likes to number his letters, I’m number 20 and I will always think of you. And Wayne, for reasons I don’t understand, every time I look at my son, I will think of you. Candidate #15: What Spiritual condition did you arrive: I was strong on one side but it was the wrong side. I tell you what
What did you find: I found grace, acceptance and courage. I’ve known the Lord a long time ago. I’ve got a good friend right here that knows me. He knew me when I was 15 years old and Christian, which lasted just a few months. But it never went away, I found out today. What are you taking away with you: A battle. I’m ready to fight again. Not only to think about the Lord, in secret or when I’m lonely or whatever. But actually proclaiming Him to people. I received some knowledge and that’s gonna bring on the fear. The fear of the Lord and that’s what we need. I know that’s what I need. I learned something about the knowledge. If you look at that word, you are at a ledge. But you know that He is with you so you can still go over the ledge. That’s knowledge. Another thing I got with me is I got a characteristics of my Kairos brothers (patting his full stomach). There’s a few Kairos brothers that are pretty slim, but I’m with the majority now (patting his full stomach, again). Candidate #16: What Spiritual condition did you arrive: First off, I’d like to thank three very good friends of mine that really pushed for me to be in this Kairos. And really, half of that side of the room (pointing toward his inside Kairos community) has been pushing for me to make some changes. After giving personal thanks to three or four people [which we try and keep them from doing], he became emotional and then re-cooped by saying): I’m told that real men don’t cry, they just sweat out their eyes. I believe we did a lot of sweating, in here.
What did you find:
You people just don’t know how far I’ve come.
I’ve been incarcerated since I was eighteen.
I am thirty-four years of age, now. Three
more years I come up for my first parole. So
you can say this couldn’t have come at a better time.
I’d like to say thank you to the Lord for allowing me to receive
forgiveness from a fellow Kairos brother that I did wrong to back in 1994.
In front of all you brothers and sisters, I’d like to call that brother
up here and ask his forgiveness. Michael,
I wronged you very dearly in 94. I
asked you for forgiveness, the other night and you forgave me.
Now, in front of all these people, to bear witness, today, I ask you for
forgiveness again. That the hatchet
would be buried between us and that we be very good friends and very good Kairos
brothers. (Forgiveness accepted
& they embraced) (This is very
much NOT the normal behavior for inside those walls.) What are you taking away with you:
Candidate #4 (again):
(The other half of the forgiveness incident) I know I done spoke once. But, I have to say this. First let me ask a question. All the people that know “Mike” please stand up. (Few were willing to, openly admit a relationship for fear of what was about to be divulged) Again, All the people that know Mike X, please stand up. I know more people know me than that. I know it should be just about everybody in this room, except for people in color (free world). Well, that’s alright. The reason I said I buried Mike last night was, like I said a while ago, Mike done a lot of wrong things. Mike allowed a lot of people to do wrong things to him. I had a funeral for [that] Mike last night. Mike X died! Last night, I also had a birth. “Michael X” was born. Michael was allowed, through God, to forgive somebody who wronged me and that wrong had grown to a hate. And I thank Him for that. What Spiritual condition did you arrive:
What did you find: What are you taking away with you:
Candidate #17: What Spiritual condition did you arrive: As my brothers and sisters know, when I first came to Kairos, I didn’t have any spiritual condition. What did you find: I’m thankful, now, that I can see the light. I can truly say now that I can take that walk with the Lord. What I found here is unbelievable and I don’t think I ever cared about anyone since I been incarcerated. To me everybody was a stepping-stone. I was gonna walk on everybody I could walk on. I’m 5’7.5” but I pack a wallop, you know. But God pack a bigger wallop. I ain’t never cried as much in my life. What are you taking away with you: When I leave here, I’m gonna be whole. The Lord will be working within me, to work with others just like me. And I ask of all my brothers and sisters, all my brothers in white that already made this walk. Work with me. Amen.
Candidate #18: What Spiritual condition did you arrive: OK! First I would like to say I would like to thank God for all my Kairos brothers, all the people from the free world, all my brothers in white shirts. Ya’ll people are so special to me cause I ain’t never had any love like this before. My spiritual warfare that I had before, I don’t have anymore.
What did you find: I found God in true life and in my heart. Without God, I wouldn’t nothing. But now, I’m somebody. Every person goes through trials and tribulations. No matter who you are, what you are, or who you think you are. Everybody’s gonna go through tribulations. I would like to say, my life wasn’t real too sure if I wanted to be still alive or not. When I was a kid, I was mistreated by my own Mother. My Dad died when I was five years old. I don’t really know who was my Dad. My Mother, she’s still alive right now. She abused me when I was little. She sent me away to a foster home. I stayed there in San Antonio at a place called X. I stayed there ‘til I was nineteen. But still I though my trials was over, I found peace, but I didn’t. I still found hatred, anger, unwanted……… But now, I gave my life to Christ. What did I get out of this: I found God in my life! I’m not a hermit anymore. I broke down. I broke down my walls. I was tired of being in the darkness. I been in darkness for a long time. What are you taking away with you:
I got a whole new family that I wish I had before.
I’m a new soldier of Christ. I’m gonna fight to the end ‘til I die. I’m gonna go to Heaven. When I go to Heaven, I wanna see ya’ll (pointing to all in the audience) up there. Thank you. Candidate #19: What Spiritual condition did you arrive: I didn’t know. I was nervous. I didn’t know what to say. I used to thought that uh God would never answer my prayers. I used to be on the Allred Unit, in Wichita Falls. I used to try to come over here to visit my brother. I got a brother on this unit and he on the Kairos Team. (Meaning his brother has been through a Kairos weekend) He told me about it [Kairos] through letters. So I tried putting in I60, four times. Four times, I been turned down. It disappointed me the warden turned me down over there, so when I went back to my cell, I wrote my father and told him about it. Then after I got through write that letter, I laid in my bunk and I thought to myself: I said Lord, this warden told me that I never gonna see my brother. That’s been five years. Within a week and a half, the Lord answered my prayers and they told me I was on the “chain” {being transferred). And here I am. He [God] showed me whatever man say don’t matter but whatever He say goes. If it wouldn’t for my brother Anthony, setting right there. I’m thankful. I love him. And that’s why I’m here.
What did you find: I found a lot of love. I found that there’s a lot of people that really love me. Especially when I seen all those letters in one bag, at one time. Man, I mean………… What are you taking away with you: I taking my [Kairos] cross and the love of Jesus in my heart.
Candidate #20: What Spiritual condition did you arrive: I’m gonna pursue to be very brief. When I came to Kairos, I expected to receive something and man, I must admit that chicken was good. Them hamburgers was great and we had something, I didn’t even know the name of it, but my stomach agreed with it. But, I was expecting to receive something deeper than that. I very much appreciate the food. I thank God for the food, but I realize that the food cannot deliver me. The food cannot take my sole to Heaven. You know when I came to Kairos; my walk with Christ was stagnated and I’ve had bouts with suicidal thoughts. And for some time, I had bouts with suicidal thoughts concerning my Christian life. I wanted to give up. I wanted to walk away from it because there was some things in the world, which I desired to do. And I know that I could do those things and call myself a man of God.
What did you find: I received something here at Kairos and I thank God for it. Now I’m renewed and my walk is stronger. I was like that old ship that went out to sea, you know. Everything was smooth sailing. The sky was blue, the sun shined bright in my life. But as soon as the storm stood in the forecast of my life, I begin to step back for a minute and thought is this really what I want. And in Kairos, I find that: yes this really is what I want. I want to go on. I want to go on in Jesus’ name. Because he’s done great things for me. There’s something that I shared yesterday and I’m gonna say this here then I gonna go back to my seat. I was sharing with my brothers about my time having been on death row. There are men in this prison who has been leery of me because of my having been on death row. I shared that yesterday and I was expecting some of the brother to say Oh, Oh, wait, brother there….. I don’t know….. But it didn’t matter. It didn’t matter. It didn’t matter that I experienced some of the things that I’ve experienced in life which I shared yesterday. (Getting very emotional) It didn’t matter how long I been in prison. It didn’t matter what I was in prison for. What mattered was the love of Jesus Christ and I thank God for that. I want to. When those storms come in life, I adopted something that Chuck Swendol said. He said: It is this love that arranges our tomorrows that we may be certain that what ever it brings. His love sifted our way. What are you taking away with you:
Candidate #21: What Spiritual condition did you arrive: You know I hear so much in here and I hear guys talking about their families. I have a Mother and a Father, four loving brothers and a son. I ain’t been abuse. I ain’t been on no serious drugs. I just thank God for being blessed and I am still being blessed. I’ve lost loved ones along the way, you know and that was hard. And I met all these free world brothers and I been saying: “Yes sir and No sir” to ‘em all week. You see there’s a habit I been trying to turn loose. I use a lot of curse words, in this place, cause I’m trying to be accepted and that tone of voice. And I have a good brother, he always trying to encourage me, Mr. RC. He say: Man, uh Son, you gotta turn that a loose. So I share that with you. I always have been a respectable type person but being in this environment for the first time and not in no boys home and…. I was in a life and death situation, so I thank God for life and I’m still here. This old lady, she keep telling me: She say: Son…. God’s gonna do something for you. I don’t know what it is but you need to come on home wit it. So I just wanted to cut this short and say that no matter what you going through. God will give you a second chance, every time he lets you wake up in the morning. You thank Him for it.
What did you find: What are you taking away with you: Just keep on taking His grace and mercy and I thank you.
Candidate #22: What Spiritual condition did you arrive: I was told to make this short. But, I got a pastor over here that told me I got all the time in the world. I got God’s time. I’m on Kairos time. So, I’m just gonna take this mic over for a little bit. Last night I got up and spoke and I said some of ya’ll probably didn’t think you’d ever see me standing up here. But really, a whole bunch of people didn’t even think they were gonna see me here. I was seventy-second on the first list and I was forty forth on the final list. I was the last alternate. I was last of the last. I put in for this so many times, I…….. I lost count. I know I had four cellies before me when I walked in and told them I wanted to go to Kairos. They said hey I’m gonna go too. And they put in and they went and I didn’t. So I don’t know what was going on. But, I finally made it and here I am. I suppose that I relate to St. Peter denial of Christ three times before the cock crows, above all else. I believe most of us missed the true significance of this event. For it comes down to our repeated denials of Christ and God throughout our lifetime. Throughout my life, I’ve known of God and of Christ, but always I’ve walked away. Somehow I always got stuck on the Christ part. But I know God’s real and this Kairos has brought that home to me more now than ever. It was brought to my attention that I had the other fellows up here with me last night. If Shawn had not told people how far down I’d been in my life. Just looking at me, most folks may not have believed it, until I got up there and said it. John told about how the officers feared me. How I couldn’t even come out of my cell (overcome with emotion and had to get Shawn back up to tell his story) Shawn: “This is, my good friend, Lance X. I’ve known him for over a decade and a half. I spent ten years in Ad Seg. About eight of those years were spent with this man right here. We were locked in our cells alone. Couldn’t see anybody, but we could hear each other’s voice. We’ve seen some awful bad times. We saw some good times. And I saw Lance. I knew Lance X when they would not let him out of his cell. If he had a medical lay in, if he was, deathly, sick, they would not take him to the infirmary cause they were afraid of him. The only time they would take him out of his cell is if he was leg shackled, hands cuffed, behind his back. He had to lay down on the floor twisted up like a pretzel, in order for them to crack the door open far enough to put those leg shackles on this man. And I knew him and they would walk him with a dog leash on him. They’d lead him, like a dog, down the hallway. Other inmates jeered at him and cheered and were laughing as he went down the hall like that. And he was hard, a hard heart, because it took a hard man to put up with a life like that. And I knew him when all that was happening to him. What did you find: We found the love of God and others. And we found respect for people. What are you taking away with you: We want to take God’s love and share it with others, and never have to be treated like an animal again.
|
|
|
